Today I woke up with a pube stuck on my face. Doesn't that suck? I have no fucking idea how it got there. As far as I know, I'm the only alphamale in my apartment's ecosystem, so I know that the pube is mine, which offers some degree of relief.
The pube was discovered after waking up and walking over to the bathroom mirror. There it was, amongst the morning dew and fields of stubble that adorned my face, curled like a scorpion poised to strike. It hung there on my cheek, the evil, S-shaped black serpent in the Garden of Eden.
It would totally suck to find a pube in this beer. Like having a friend come forward saying he's gay and admitting he has a crush on me, my relationship with this beer would be totally awkward and strained. And thinking of who the pube was previously attached to would make me seek rape counseling.
-Al
No comments:
Post a Comment